some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
