whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My first STD was from a foam party
Welp...herpes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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