I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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