I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
