Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
