I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
