Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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