go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
