too bad you live with your parents still
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
