i just wanna soil my oats bro
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
