dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize