I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
