Can i not drive my cunt home
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
