so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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