The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize