Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
