I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize