on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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