I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
