my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
