Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
