brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
