i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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