R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
did i walk over a car last night?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We have so much sex to catch up on
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
