I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
