I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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