And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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