i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Congratulations! We have a period
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