Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize