Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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