I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize