Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
