wanna go halves on a baby?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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