after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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