you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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