The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
