My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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