You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize