wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize