before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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