go do what you do best...puke behind churches
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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