If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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