ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
