we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize