there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
