dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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