erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
