i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
