I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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