Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
