So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
