that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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