3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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