"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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