when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
