I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize