I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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