But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We had to coat check the pizza.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
