and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cut my penus on the lid.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
