Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I understand Curling. That high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
